EYES

B57The energy that our soul carries is amazing.  Similar to a light bulb, the wattage that we shine with reflects the love and balance within. 

Being in the retail business, I work with people all day long.  It always amazes me how I very rarely experience a conversation with the other person looking me in the eyes.  I probably could count on one hand how many times I have noticed other people having conversations and actually looking at the person they were talking to.

“One’s eyes are the mirror to their soul”.  We’ve heard that saying before.  I believe that it’s true.  People that we work with, sit next to on the couch, sit across from at lunch even the one’s we say “I love you” to. 

Don’t just look at their eyes…look into their eyes.  Is it fear?  Could it be that we are afraid of what we may see?  Will we notice a twinkle, will we find someone we knew from another time, will we find a darkness…a black hole?  What about our own eyes?  What will they see? 

The next time you find yourself in front of a mirror, practice looking into your own eyes.  Don’t look at your hair or makeup; don’t be looking for zits or food in your teeth.  Just look at your eyes…look into your eyes.  Do you feel a bit silly?  Don’t.  What do you notice?  Nothing?  Are they smiling back at you?  Are they tired?  Keep noticing each time you are at a mirror.  Don’t make it stressful by “searching” for something.  You should eventually “notice” what others see in you…in your eyes.  No words needed.

BABIES

BLOG PIC 17Dreams are like subconscious indicators of what’s going on in and around us.  I know some people who claim that they don’t dream.  I know people who claim they dream with such intensity and vividness the minute they close their eyes.

I, by no means, am a scientist but I do believe that all humans and animals dream.  The extent to which we remember our dreams or not is what most people base their debate on.  I don’t feel that we are meant to remember or even be aware of every subconscious event that occurs while we are sleeping.  We would probably be exhausted for the lack of true restoration that is supposed to occur while we are sleeping.

I do, however, believe in what we are made aware of and do remember from our time we spend in slumber.  Just as our physical bodies heal and our energy is restored, our thoughts and peace of mind also go through healing and restoration.  We’ve heard the saying, “just sleep on it”.  With our external (and internal) environment constantly attacking and draining us of our center, our inner focus, a lot of times we are making decisions irrationally or while on automatic pilot.

To remember a dream and interpret it as a nightmare would be an strong inner turmoil.  A relationship,  job,  just about anything that might be tearing us up inside while we are cool, calm and collected on the outside.  When I was in high school, I would have this reoccurring nightmare that I would be walking to class with some friends who would disappear and all of a sudden I was lost in a hallway and couldn’t find my locker or where my next class was.  It sounds silly but I would wake up out of breath and sweaty.  I am many years out of school now and every now and then I still have that dream.  I was one of those kids who loved going to school and doing homework.  Today, I am a recovering workaholic.  This dream represents,  for me, a sense of lack of control in my life.

Another dream I have is a dream involving babies.  I am usually watching the birth and being given this beautiful baby to love and care for.  Sometimes, there are small children that I am protecting.  I am far beyond my pregnancy days so in these dreams I find myself a bit anxious in my capabilities to fulfil my duties as a mom again.   I am not upset or sweating when I wake up but more in the state of mind of “where the freak did that come from?”  For me, these dreams represent new beginnings.  After a dream like that, I have had new opportunities present themselves, new people come into my life and even moves with a job transfer.

To remember and take notice of our dreams is like being aware we are running a fever and  doing what needs to be done to care for ourselves; like finding ourselves smiling or being tickled inside for no apparent reason and then aware of a little bit of adrenalin with a hint of anticipation.

By the way, day dreams do count.  This is a good place to start for those who claim they don’t dream or who don’t remember their dreams.

 

EXITS

B14One night while living in my apartment in N.C., I had an experience that showed me a portion of the “Big Picture”.

I tend to be a light sleeper.  I usually wake up in whatever position I fall asleep in.  I am aware when I roll over or push my covers off, etc.  Even though I wear ear plugs, I can hear the fan whirring or a conversation in the next room.  I am aware when the cat is on the bed or someone has walked across the outside of my window.

This particular night, there had been nothing unusual in my day.  I set my alarm, tucked myself in and closed my eyes.  I laid on my back and  proceeded with my meditational healing routine and then dozed off. 

Sometime around 3am, I awoke just enough to turn over… but couldn’t move!  Was I dreaming?  I tried to move my arms, my legs, even my head but nothing happened.  I opened my eyes and looked around.  I was not dreaming, this was my room.  I tried to scream, but only a slight moan came out.  I felt myself start to panic.  I saw my cell phone on my dresser that was on the other side of my bed.  I tried several times to throw my body over to that side of the bed.  I figured that if I could hit something; to make some noise that maybe the neighbors would hear but not one part of me was responding.  Nothing. 

 I heard about four or five voices talking.  I couldn’t see anyone in my room but I could hear them.  They called me by my name.  I wasn’t afraid.  It was as if I knew them and was aware of why they were there.  They were close to me.  It was as if they were on the bed with me “…are you sure?” they asked.  “This is the time you chose…” they said.  “I am sure.” I responded with my thoughts.  This same conversation persisted and I answered the same way at least three times “…I am sure.”  They acknowledged each other and then me with what sounded like a song without words.  Then they were gone. 

What’s going on?  It felt like some family members had just stopped by and offered me a ride home and I just turned them down and chose to continue walking.

I still couldn’t move.  Thoughts ran through my mind like “…how long would I lay here before someone came looking for me?”  “Have I peed and can’t feel it?”  I had to try again to get to my phone.  I mustered all the inside energy I could and tried to throw my body.  It moved!  My adrenalin must have kicked in.  I did it again and flipped on my side.  I still couldn’t move my arms or legs.  I did it again and rolled to the edge of the bed on my stomach.  My legs slid off to the floor.  I couldn’t lift my arms but I could push until I found myself sitting on the floor with my back against the dresser.  I sat there.

After a short time, I was able to move my arms.  I rolled over onto my knees and pulled myself back up on to my bed and got my phone.  I hesitated to make a call for help.  Who should I call?  911?  My mom?  What would I say?  So, I bargained with myself that I would wait and see how I felt.  My body felt really heavy and weak.  I decided to stand up and then holding on to the furniture and walls, I went to the bathroom.  From there, I held onto the walls and went to the kitchen and got something to drink and sat at my kitchen table.  After a time, I decided to go ahead and get my shower and get ready for work.  I felt shaky but stronger each time I moved around.  By the time I left for work, I was fine.  My head was still reeling  from the experience, but I was fine.

There is a teaching that while we are preparing ourselves to be incarnated, we  choose our lessons and so on that create a map for the journey we will be on.  While planning our journey, we choose five exit points.   At each of these exit points, our higher selves have the choice to stay or go.

Have you (or someone you know) come through a medical trauma or accident or act of nature that there was no chance of surviving but you did?  Maybe it was your choice to stay…

ROLL YOUR EYES

 B36We all have that person who royally gets on our nerves.  You know the one that makes you roll your eyes every time you think of them.  Is it the way they talk about others?  Is it all the drama that surrounds them?  Is it the way they eat their food?  Is it the way that they are late all the time?  Is it the way they chew gum like a cow?  Is it the people that they hang out with?  

There is a teaching that when these people come into our lives, it is us looking into a mirror to see what we don’t like about ourselves.  I know this is a strong concept but try it.  Maybe this person is late all time and you are one of those people who are always early so now you are sitting up straight with your declaration “Ha! that’s not me”.  OK… but if you really look at yourself, are you reliable?  Maybe this person overindulges in desserts and it’s enough to make you gag while you proudly declare how full you are after your meal of a salad but if you look at yourself, do you reward your day with a whole bottle of wine?  

This is not intended to beat ourselves up but to help distress our space.  If you would practice this teaching, you will find your days balancing out.  You have to be crucially honest with yourself.  You may even find yourself smiling instead of rolling your eyes when you think of that person…when you think of you.

Think about it.  Look at yourself.  Look at yourself in the mirror.

BROTHEL

B37There are “energies” around us all of the time… angels, guides, ghosts/spirits, etc.  Yes, there are spirits who don’t realize they’ve died and spirits who are bound by unfinished business.  There are also spirits who choose to stay and spirits who choose to come back after they have gone into the light.

My friends had taken me to an abandoned old house one afternoon in my little railroad town in Tennessee before I moved there.  The house was probably built in the late 1800’s or early 1900’s.  It was two stories with dormer windows in the attic.  It had a covered porch across the front and around each side of the outside of the house there were separate balconies and stairs.  The house was gray and weathered and sat only about 100 yards from the train tracks.  Apparently, when the train came through, it would make a “special” stop for it’s passenger, if requested, to visit this house.

When we drove up to the front of the house, we got out and made our way through the tall grass.  The energy coming from the house was very strong.  I could barely come within about 20ft of it.  The energy wasn’t negative but really strong.  As we walked around, my friends were looking through windows and taking pictures.  As we came around from the back of the house, she startled me.  There was a young woman standing on the balcony, smoking a cigar.  She had on white pantaloons that were gathered at her knees.  She had on an old fashioned camisole with the lace undone on the front.  She was barefooted and her hair was a pretty auburn in a long braid pulled to one side and down the front of her.  She seemed to watch us walk around to the front.

My friends went up on to the front porch, took pictures and gave beautiful descriptions of the sitting room and the stairs.  I stood out from the house and told them I heard music… a lively piano tune.  They said they saw a piano over in the corner of the sitting room.  I saw men and women swinging around dancing and laughing.  There was even a man twirling a girl on the front porch.  It felt happy, high energy and electric.  This was definitley a festive place.

As we were making our way back to the van, my friends were reviewing some of the pictures that they took and there was this amazing one of the front porch and  in one of the windows was a wooden pedestal in the shape of a “T” and on it sat a large green parrot.  He was beautiful and as clear as if he was really there!  Of course they hurried back to that window but there wasn’t anything there.  He was on their camera and that was an exciting confirmation. 

As we got into the van, I looked up at one of the 2nd story windows and saw an older woman watching us through slightly pulled apart curtains.  My friends assured me there was nothing there, not even curtains. Except for maybe the older woman who watched us leave, it was a perfect example of spirits who were there because they wanted to be.  They were not lost souls.  Could it have been the most happiest times of their lives that they didn’t want to leave?  For the ones that did cross over, was their comradery so strong that they chose to come back?

Yes and yes.

LESSONS

B53When someone that you care about stumbles or is suffering, it’s hard not to jump in and save them.  I wanted to march right up to that boy who broke my daughter’s heart and punch him right in his face!  I wanted to jerk a knot in the tail of the lady who borrowed money from a good friend who really didn’t have it to lend in the first place then laughed when she told him she wasn’t paying him back!  I wanted to scream when I got the call that a friend had passed away from a cancer diagnosis after only a few months!  And the list goes on and on…

Life’s lessons for us can be difficult.  What happens is that if we don’t go through whatever experience and learn whatever lesson is waiting for us, we will find ourselves in the same situation over and over again until we “get it”, until we learn the lesson.  Being aware of this, I have asked my guides to please just put it in front of me, thump me over the head with whatever I am supposed to be getting; to make it obvious.  I then can usually see what was really in front of me the whole time and the grip I have on my hair finally releases.

When we step in to save our kids, our friends, whoever it is that we would take a bullet for, what really is going to end up happening is that we are enabling the torture or suffering of their lesson because a form of that experience will keep reocurring until they learn it.

By being on the other end of the phone while my daughter bawled her eyes out and vented in total distress at the loss of the love of her life, I did restrain myself and not act on my original intent.  Fast forward, she is married to a man who is totally different from the former boyfriend and is a mother of three with a thriving career.

By observing and not confronting that lady on behalf of my friend, he seems to be keeping his head above water finacially.

A short time after my friend passed from cancer, she came to me and told me how happy she was.  I was on my lunch break and had stepped outdoors for some fresh air.  “She was laughing and telling me that she finally understood and knew where God was.  (She had spent a great deal of time studying the different religions and beliefs of God and where he was believed to be).  “He was in me the whole time!” she exclaimed.  “He’s in all of us!  I can’t believe I waisted so much time searching!”  I smiled and told her I loved her.  I think I finally understood that she wasn’t actually taken from us but allowed to continue her journey to find her answer that she was longing for.

 

ENGLISH LAVENDER

B20Not long after my grandmother passed away, there was always the fragrance of lavender almost everywhere I went.  She used to bathe with English Lavender soap and as a kid, I would always take the package and smell it and think that how beautiful the color “lavender” smelled.  I don’t know how old I was when I realized that the fragrance of lavender was from a flower not a color.

There was a time that I was constantly surrounded with the fragrance of roses.  I had no rose bushes or soap or dryer sheets or perfume that smelled like roses.  And the fact that I would notice it everywhere; at work, at home, in my car, mowing the yard, etc., made me notice and there was a maternal type comfort that accompanied it but I couldn’t figure out who it was.   I was sharing my story with a friend and he said it was Mary (mother of Jesus).  Apparently, when she is with you, there is an essence of roses.  I have heard this belief a couple of times since then.  I still, now and again, notice the fragrance of roses and if there is no physical reason for it, I just quietly smile with acknowledgement.

While in the retail business, I would smell black liquorice in the hardware department.  I would notice it different times of the day or night in different sections of the department.  This went on for quite some time.  I personally do not like black liquorice so my reaction to the fragrance was offensive.  I felt like it was an older man but never saw anything.

I was one of the rebels that refused to pay for tv service and still relied on the weather and my reception for the two channels and their programming.  I would usually read or tool around on my laptop.  I would notice the smell of cigarette smoke.  I don’t smoke nor allow anyone to smoke in my house or car.  I think that he was just passing through (I say “he”, it felt like a man) but it still was a bit annoying.  You know how you go out where people are smoking and it gets stuck in your nose for hours even after you leave?  That’s what it was like.  He doesn’t seem to come around as often now which is fine with me. (Phew!)